I think a lot about language. I don't think as much about culture. But maybe I should. Or maybe I do, and I just don't like the word "culture." 

I'm currently experiencing a months long scrubbing-mouths-out-with-soap exercise with my sons.  Having spent a year in Denmark, we discovered that, while everyone spoke excellent English, they seemed to have learned it from Quentin Tarantino films.

This means that the word "fuck" entered into conversations a lot. 

I don't mean it entered into conversations between adults and the kids overheard it. I mean it entered into sentences like, "If you kids play like you know how, you can fucking win. If not, you're gonna get fucked up the asses." says the coach of my 10-year-old son's soccer team. 

I have to explain to them that swear words don't translate. You can tell someone what a swear word means: both literally and equate it to a swear word in your own language. But it doesn't translate. Swear words have cultural and emotional meaning that can't be translated. The word "fuck" has impact because you grew up with it. You've spent a lifetime being surrounded by people who are offended by it. You've gotten the stink eye from your fourth grade teacher when she caught you saying it, and that feeling stays with you somewhere. It's a sound that you can teach your mouth to make, but you cannot teach your ear to hear.

I was out running on Saturday and I came across a family leaving Temple. I was tempted to say, "Shabbat Shalom", but then I realized that I wouldn't know what to say next. I hoped it was sort of like saying, "Have a great day." or just "Hi. How are you?" Expressions that require no follow up in American English. (For foreigners, we aren't really asking how you are, it's just that "Hi." is too short sometimes.) But then I thought, what if it was more than that? What a great conversation:

"Shabbat Shalom!"

"Shabbat Shalom!"

Long awkward pause as they look at me expectantly.

"Well, ok then. Light's green now."

Fuck. That last part is just in my head.

I worry about the long slow burn against "political correctness", which fought against it's (many) excesses, but now is going into overcorrect. The basic point of political correctness is essentially: don't use swear words in a foreign language.* Men, you have no idea how a woman hears the word "pussy". White people, you have no idea how a black person hears the N word. (Can't bring myself to write it. Hate to get search engine optimized for that.) You may not have malice in your heart when you say it, but you've got no idea how it gets heard in its native language. 

And if you are offended by my request that you be more thoughtful in your choice of words, remember the words of Chris Rock on a show when asked by a white guy, "Why is it ok for you to use the "N" word, but not me?" and Chris Rock replied, "Why do you want to use it?" 

*In case I have to explain the metaphor: cultures you did not grow up in develop different use of words even if speaking English. They effectively have their own language. And you only understand part of it. And if you don't believe me, go say "fanny" to a Brit, or if you are a Brit, say "cunt" to an American.